How to Recover from Emotional Abuse

How to recover from emotional abuse

When Moses sent 12 Israelite men to spy out the land of Canaan, their report was as follows:
The land flows with milk and honey but the people are strong, their cities are fortified and we saw giants there. (Numbers 13:27-28)

This report made Caleb who was one of the spies tell the Israelites, "Let us go up at once and take possession of it because we are well able to conquer it". (Numbers 13:30) 

However, 10 of the other spies told the Israelites, "We are not able to fight against these people because they are stronger than us.(Numbers 13:31) "We were like grasshoppers in our own eyes and also in their own eyes". (Numbers 13:33) 

This conclusion of the 10 spies carried the day and made all the other Israelites refuse to fight for their Promised Land and want to return to Egypt. (Numbers 14:1-4) 

This conclusion of the 10 spies can be attributed to the fact that even though they had been released from slavery in Egypt, they were still suffering from the emotional effects the abuse they had suffered as slaves.



Emotional Effects of Abuse
Slavery, sexual abuse, physical abuse, relationship abuse and child neglect are all forms of abuse which have the following effects on the person who has been abused:
aggression, anger, anxiety, confusion, crying, depression, fear, passivity, underachievement, feeling trapped, inability to trust, feeling powerless, defeated and manipulated and guilt. Shame, low self-esteem, poor relationships, social withdrawal, sleeping problems, substance abuse and suicidal thoughts are other effects of emotional abuse.

The symptoms of emotional abuse of low self esteem, feeling powerless and defeated can be clearly seen in the 10 spies. 

However we do not see these symptoms in Caleb. The question we therefore have to ask is what caused the difference between Caleb and these 10 spies since he had also been released from slavery? 

God gives us the answer when He speaks to Moses for He says, "My servant Caleb has ... followed me wholeheartedly." (Numbers 14:24) 

Following God wholeheartedly is therefore one of the keys to recovering from all the effects of abuse. 


How to Follow God Wholeheartedly
To follow God wholeheartedly you have to believe Him and believe the Bible with your whole heart and mind.

This means that you make a conscious decision to believe God and His Word 100% regardless of what your thoughts, feelings, emotions, people and situations are telling you.

Therefore, even if your problems are strong, gigantic and protected, but God has told you that you can overcome them, you have to decide to believe Him 100% because All things are possible for the person who believes (Mark 9:23).  







This believing God and His Word, which is having faith, is very important because we are told, "Above all take the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the enemy".

This means that regardless of the fiery darts that were fired into your life during the time you were experiencing the abuse, believing God and His Word can put them off. 


Above all take the shield of faith with which you will be able to put out all the fiery darts of the wicked one. (Ephesians 6:16)

In addition, know that if you want to put them off completely and recover from all the effects of emotional abuse, you have to believe God and His Word wholeheartedly or with your whole heart and mind.

If you find yourself having problems believing Him and His Word completely pray, "Lord I believe, please help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). 








Overcoming Powerlessness
If for example the fiery dart of feeling powerless was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to decide to believe God's Word where He tells us, "Let the weak say I am strong" (Joel 3:10) and then decide to obey it by declaring "I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might". (Adapted Ephesians 6:10) 

By making this proclamation you are putting the confidence of your strength and power in God' Power and Might. 

This means that even if you are dwarfed physically, financially or numerically by problems, you do not allow yourself to feel powerless because those problems are actually dwarfs when compared to The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ Whose Power and Might you are relying on.

Therefore, when the facts of your situation remind you that you are powerless because your problems are strong, gigantic and protected use that opportunity to confess "I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might" (Adapted Ephesians 6:10) and believe it with your whole heart.

When your feelings about your situation make you feel weak, vulnerable and insignificant, use that opportunity to meditate on "I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might" (Adapted Ephesians 6:10) and believe it with your whole heart. 



If the fiery dart of fear was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to decide to believe God's Word where He tells us, "Do not be afraid because I am with you. Do not be dismayed because I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with your righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) 

Decide to believe this Scripture with your whole heart, confess it frequently and meditate on it regularly and you will overcome fear.









Overcoming Discouragement

If the fiery dart of discouragement was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to encourage yourself in the Lord like David who encouraged himself in the Lord. (1 Samuel 30:6)




Overcoming Hopelessness 
If the fiery dart of hopelessness was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to confess and meditate on With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) as you believe it with your whole heart.






  
Overcoming Being Passive
If the fiery dart of passivity or being passive was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you first have to overcome discouragement (see above), hopelessness (see above) and fear of failure (see below).  


Click here to learn How to Overcome Fear of Failure


If you are passive because you always feel too tired to do anything even when you have done nothing, you have to treat that condition which I call spiritual chronic fatigue.





After you  have done this, you have to decide to believe God's Word where it says, "Blessed be the Lord God Who is my Rock and Who trains my hands for warfare and my fingers for fighting." (Psalm 144:1) 

God expects us to be active rather than passive in some situations. A good example is seen when He told the Israelites that He had given them the Promised Land in Canaan but they still had to fight many battles to possess it. 

Therefore refuse to accept living in an unacceptable abusive situation and decide to fight because Jesus came so that we can have abundant life (John 10:10).






As you develop a fighting spirit, understand that you are not to fight physically. You are to fight spiritually by using the Christian spiritual warfare weapons that God has given us like prayer, praising God and the armor of God.














How to use the powerful name of Jesus









This armor of God includes the Word of God which is the sword of the spirit (Ephesians 6:17) and by confessing "Blessed be the Lord God Who is my Rock and Who trains my hands for warfare and my fingers for fighting" (Psalm 144:1) you will be wielding your spiritual sword to fight this spirit of passivity.



Overcoming Aggression
Trusting God to avenge you and punish the people who abused you can help you overcome aggression. Therefore leave your case in God's hands and believe that He will make them pay for what they did to you because He says, "Vengeance is mine I will repay" (Romans 12:19) and not "I may repay". 





Understand that God does not have to kill the people who hurt you to punish them. Sometimes He lets them live long enough to see or hear about your blessings for the Psalmist tells us that God "Prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies". (Psalm 23:5)


Overcoming Anger
If the fiery dart of anger was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to decide to Be slow to anger (James 1:19) since A person's anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires (James 1:20) and then learn Christian anger management.


Christian anger management


Overcoming Anxiety
To overcome anxiety you have to obey the Bible for it tells us Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation combine prayer and supplication with thanksgiving as you make your requests to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7) 

Therefore tell God the things that are making you anxious, ask Him to help you deal with them and then thank Him for the things He has already done for you.








Overcoming Depression
To overcome depression you have to meditate and confess anti-depression Bible verses like This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24) as you try to believe them with your whole heart. 

Combine this with seeking professional treatment from a Doctor and experimenting with natural remedies for depression.



Overcoming Confusion
To overcome confusion pray and ask God to guide you because the Bible tells us "If any of you lacks wisdom, let Him ask of God who gives to all freely and it will be given". (James 1:5) 

Therefore ask God to give you clarify the issues that are confusing you and believe that He will because we are to ask in faith.




Overcoming Feelings of Guilt and Condemnation
If the fiery darts of guilt and condemnation were fired into your life when you were being abused, to put them off you first have to get saved.

To do this say with your mouth that "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that when He died for our sins, God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

How to work out your salvation

After getting saved, you have to believe with your whole heart that There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

Meditate on this Bible verse and confess it with your mouth whenever someone or something tries to make you feel guilty or condemned.

If you feel guilty and condemned because of what you did, do what you can to rectify the situation if your actions will not cause more pain.

If there is nothing you can do about the situation, dedicate some of your time or money to helping people who are hurting with similar pains. For example if your actions made children sleep hungry, donate money to a charity that feeds hungry children.  







Overcoming Feelings of Shame
If the fiery dart of shame was fired into your life when you were being abused, to put it off you have to decide to believe what God says about you. This includes I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and I am a new creation because I am in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17).





To change your feelings about yourself, stand infront of a mirror each day and confess these self-affirming Bible verses while looking yourself in the eye. 

Decide to believe these affirmations because they are from the Word of God and continue affirming yourself each day until you begin to believe them and feel them.

So if you do not feel wonderful about yourself because of the things that were done to you when you were being abused, you should continue telling yourself each morning and evening "I am a new creation because I am in Christ Jesus and I am wonderfully made until you begin feeling wonderful about yourself.

If other issues in your life contribute to the feelings of shame, go through your Bible and find the Scriptures that address then and them turn them into your Christian affirmations. 







Letting your light shine can also help you overcome feelings of shame.



Overcoming Self Hatred









Overcoming Low Self Esteem

If the device of devaluation was used on you when you were being abused and you now have low self esteem, to raise it to a healthy level, you have to decide to believe that you are God's masterpiece created in Christ to do good works which God prepared for you. (Ephesians 2:10)

Meditate on this Bible verse and tell yourself each day look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I am God's Masterpiece".

Then, begin treating yourself like a precious treasure because you are God's Masterpiece and Your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

To do this, carefully choose the people you become close to, the food you eat, the clothes you wear and any other action that pertains to your life the way a caretaker of a Temple cleans it, respects it and vets the people who enter it.  



Even if people treat you like trash, decide to believe that you are God's Masterpiece and treat yourself like one.










In addition, start trying to discover and fulfill your life's purpose so that you can build your self-confidence even more. 












Do not let the things you have done in your life hold you back and stop you from serving God because God can still use you.





Overcoming Tension
Persons who are living in an abusive situation are usually tense most of the time since their body is anticipating something bad to happen that they may have to flee from. 

When they leave the abusive situation they tend to find that they are always tense since they are used to living under tension.

Since chronic stress and tension can lead to the development of stress related illnesses, it is vital for persons who are recovering from emotional abuse to learn how to relax.




Overcoming Underachievement
To overcome underachievement you have to believe that since With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) you can become an achiever.

Believe it, meditate on it and confess it when you are undertaking your next project.

Then, combine your confidence in God's ability to help you (God confidence) with confidence in yourself (self-confidence) and you will be able to stop underachieving and start achieving. 





Overcoming Feelings of Being Defeated
To overcome feelings of being defeated confess and meditate on In all these things I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ Who loves me. (Romans 8:37)  


Then combine God-confidence with self-confidence and face the world confidently. 

When strong, gigantic and protected problems try to intimidate so that you can accept defeat and live a defeated life, take the opportunity to remind that I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ Who loves me. (Romans 8:37) and Not by might, nor by power but by My Spirit, says the Lord God Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6) 



Overcoming Sleeplessness or Insomnia


Overcoming Mistrust and Social Withdrawal
To overcome social withdrawal and not trusting people, include Jesus in all your relationships.

Ask Him to guide you because His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor (Isaiah 9:6) and lead you to the people you should get close to and show you those you should avoid.









Overcoming Addiction
If you begun abusing drugs, alcohol or engaging in any other addictive behavior, click here for our Free Christian Addiction Treatment Program.




If you have other emotional wounds that developed when you were being abused, believe that God can heal all of them because God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3

To receive and maintain God's healing, make sure you maintain a close walk with Him by reading your Bible each day and praying. 

You can also fast by abstaining from food for 1 meal or 1 day or 3 days (Esther Fast) or 21 days (Daniel Fast) or 40 days (Jesus Fast) or for however long God's spirit leads you to fast.   

Combine your fasting with ensuring that you are doing the right thing in the sight of God, not abusing or oppressing anyone and helping a less fortunate member of your society so that you can get a quick breakthrough and a fast healing. (Isaiah 58:6-8)  








These Christian emotional healing tips should be accompanied by seeking professional Christian counseling to help you deal with more serious symptoms of emotional abuse like thoughts of committing suicide, substance abuse and sleep problems.  




How to follow God wholeheartedly

Click here to read How to Cure Worry

Click here to read How to Stop Wearing Yourself Down with Worry

Click here to read How to Get Peace of Mind


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