Book: Assertiveness Training

Book: Assertiveness Training

This blog post is an excerpt from Assertiveness Training which uses examples from the Bible to teach you the following:
*How to assert yourself to your superiors, peers, and juniors.
*How to stop being a people pleaser
*How to say "NO" nicely  


Assertiveness Training PDF Book

We can see a good example of how to assert yourself to your juniors from Moses when people from the tribe of Gad and Reuben approached him requesting to settle on the eastern side of the Jordan river instead of crossing it to fight for their Promised Land on the western side. 
Moses asserted himself by following these ASSERT steps:

A  Assess your problems, feelings, goals, right, needs, and wants
Moses saw that this issue of the two tribes not wanting to fight for their Promised Land on the western side of the River Jordan could anger God and cause Him to abandon the Israelites in the wilderness and destroy them. (Numbers 32:15)
S  Set a convenient time and place to meet
Moses did not have to set a convenient time and place because he chose to talk to the Gadites and Reubenites when they presented their proposal to him. The timing was convenient since they approached him when he was with Eleazar the priest and the other Israelite leaders. The place was also convenient since at that time all the Israelites had camped in the Moab plains along the River Jordan opposite Jericho.
S  State the problem clearly
The problem according to Moses was that if the Gadites and Reubenites decided to settle on the eastern side of the Jordan river, their brothers from the other tribes would get discouraged and not fight for their Promised Land on the western side of the Jordan. This would lead to God abandoning them in the wilderness and destroying them. 
Moses, therefore, stated the problem clearly by asking the Gadites and Reubenites, “Shall your brothers go to fight for the Promised Land while you sit there? Why should you discourage the other Israelites from going to fight for the land which God has given them?” (Numbers 32:6-7)
Moses also told the Gadites and Reubenites, "If you do not follow God, He will leave you in the wilderness and destroy all the Israelites.” (Numbers 32:15)
E  
Moses did not have to speak using "I" sentences because he was speaking on behalf of the other Israelites since God had already told him that he would not go to the Promised Land. 
That is the reason he asked them, “Why should you discourage the other Israelites from going to fight for the land which God has given them?” (Numbers 32:6-7)
However, for purposes of assertiveness training, Moses could have said, "Your brothers will feel discouraged and they will not go to fight for the Promised Land on the other side of the Jordan."
R  
Moses did not directly request for what he wanted the Gadites and Reubenites to do. I think it is because he knew their history of being a rebellious people who often did not do what they had been told to do. 
Instead, he told them indirectly what he wanted them to do which was for them to help the other tribes fight for their Promised Land on the other side of the River Jordan. That is the reason he asked them, "Shall your brothers from the other tribes go to fight on the other side of the River Jordan while you sit here?" (Numbers 32:6)
T  
Before telling the Gadites and the Reubenites the consequences of their actions, Moses begun by giving them a brief history of their nation because he said, “Your forefathers did the same thing when I sent them from Kadesh Barnea to spy the Promised Land because after they had seen the land, they discouraged the other people and so they did not go to the Promised Land.
Consequently, God’s anger was aroused and He swore that none of the men who had come from Egypt would see the Promised Land except for Caleb and Joshua. God was so angry with them that He made them wander in the wilderness for 40 years until they all died.
And now look! You have taken your forefather’s place to increase God’s anger against His people.” (Numbers 32:6-14)
Moses then told them the negative consequences of not helping their brothers from the other tribes fight for their Promised Land on the western side of the River Jordan because he told them, "If you do not follow Him, He will leave you in the wilderness and destroy all the Israelites.(Numbers 32:15)
Moses also told them the positive consequences of going with the other tribes to the other side of the Jordan and fighting for them because he said, “If your armed men cross the Jordan and subdue the Promised Land before God and after this return and you shall be blameless before God and before the other Israelites and this land on the eastern side shall be yours”. (Exodus 32:20-22)
As a result of telling the people from the tribes of Gad and Reuben the positive and negative consequences of their actions, they agreed to build cities for their women, children and livestock but their armed men would go and help the other tribes fight for their Promised Land on the other side of the Jordan River.
Assertiveness Training PDF Book

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Bible Study Lessons from the Woman with the Alabaster Flask

Bible Study Lessons from the Woman with the Alabaster Flask

Bible Study Lessons from the Woman with the Alabaster Flask is a book excerpt from How to Serve the Body of Christ.

The story of the Woman with the Alabaster Flask is chronicled in Luke  7:36-50, Matthew 26:6-13 and Mark 14:3-9 and we can learn the following Bible study lessons from her on how to minister to the Body of Christ:


Fill A Need
The Woman with the Alabaster Flask saw that Simon the Pharisee who had invited Jesus into his home had neglected the customary duty of washing His feet. She, therefore, went straight ahead and filled that need by washing, wiping, kissing and anointing the feet of Jesus. 

Jesus approved of her action for He told His host, I came into your house and you did not give Me water to wash my feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave Me no kiss,  but she has not stopped kissing My feet since I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.” (Luke 7:44-46) 

Therefore if you are looking for a way to serve the Body of Christ today, look for something that the Christians around you need and fill that need regardless of whether it is visiting the sick in hospital, feeding the hungry or cleaning your Church after service.  
How to serve the Body of Christ




Use What You Have
The Woman with the Alabaster Jar did not hold back from filling that need of washing the feet of Jesus because she did not have water or towels. She improvised and used her tears as the cleansing water and her hair as the drying towel to fill the need.

Therefore, do not step back from filling the need you have identified because you do not have the money to buy the “right tools” to get the job done. Begin using the knowledge, skills, and resources you have however unconventional they may be, as long as you are not breaking any laws.

For example you can begin by hosting a Bible study even if your home is small and cramped. You can also offer to host and manage your Church's website.


There Will Be Critics
When the disciples saw the Woman with the Alabaster Jar was offering her services to the Lord Jesus, They were indignant and asked, “Why this waste?” (Matthew 26:8)

They also said, “This perfume Might have been sold for more than 300 denarii and the money donated to the poor.” And they criticized her sharply. (Mark 14:5)

Therefore, understand that there will always be critics who will condemn your actions. Their criticism may be motivated by greed, as it may have been in this woman’s situation since the price of her perfume was emphasized.

Your critics may also want to tarnish your ministry’s reputation like in this case for they decribed her acts of service as wasteful and inconsiderate to the poor.

So, if your pure motives are misinterpreted, do not be discouraged and stop serving your local Body of Christ. Continue ministering as you look to the Lord Jesus Christ for your justification the way He vindicated her by asking them, Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing for Me.” (Matthew 26:10) 

Jesus also said, Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this Gospel is preached in the world, what this woman has done will be told as a memorial to her. (Mark 14:9)

This blog post has been shared at some of these Christian Link Up Parties.

To learn all the lessons read How to Serve the Body of Christ.



  


Book: Christian Addiction Treatment Program

Christian Addiction Treatment Program PDF Book

This blog post is an excerpt of Christian Addiction Treatment Program which uses Bible principles, CBT and exercise to help you overcome any addiction in 3 weeks.
   

Step 1

Bible Verses to Ponder
It is no longer I who do it but it is the sin that lives in me. For I know that nothing good lives inside my flesh because the will is present in me but how to do what is good I am not able. For the good that I want to do, I do not do but I do the evil I do not want to do. So if I do what I do not want to do, it is not I who does it but the sin that lives in me. (Romans 7:17-20)
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)
Bible addiction treatment

Action Plan
Admit that you need God’s help to stop this addiction.
Accept that Jesus the Son of God can help you overcome the addiction because:
With God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)
God gives power to the weak. (Isaiah 40:29)
God says, “My grace is sufficient for you because My strength is made perfect in weakness”. (2 Corinthians 12:9) 
To receive help from Jesus to overcome the addiction give your life to Jesus.
God did not send His Son to condemn the world. He sent Him so that the world might be saved through Him. (John 3:17)
Come to Me all of you who are weary and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead when He died for our sins, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)
Therefore get saved right by saying with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord” and believing with your heart that when He died for our sins God raised Him from the dead. 

Keep a Stop Addiction Diary

Buy a notebook and label it your Stop Addiction Diary.
Every time you engage in the addictive behavior write down the following in your Stop Addiction Diary:
1. The time
2. The place
3. The people you were with
4. The circumstances that led you to do it
5. Your state of mind or mood when you began doing it
6. Your state of mind or mood when you finished doing it
In addition, write down how many times in a week you engage in the addictive behavior on the first page of your Stop Addiction Diary.

Aromatherapy (optional)

Black pepper essential oil (Piper nigrum) has a warm and spicy aroma. It is used to reduce tobacco cravings in persons trying to quit smoking.

Persons who should avoid using black pepper essential oil include pregnant women, those with liver disease, kidney disease, and sensitive skin.

To use this aromatherapy oil, add 3 drops to a cotton ball and inhale the scent when you want to reduce nicotine cravings.

To learn all the 21 Steps read Christian Addiction Treatment Program

     


Christian Addiction Treatment Program PDF Book

Book: Rules of Relaxation

Rules of Relaxation book excerpt which teaches relaxation techniques

This blog post is a book excerpt from Rules of Relaxation which teaches you 150 simple physical, medical and spiritual relaxation techniques.


Avoid Overworking

Do not overwork to become rich. Because of your own understanding, cease! (Proverbs 23:4)
When you work for long without taking a break, you are prone to making mistakes which increase your stress. Therefore, take regular breaks so that you can recover and replenish your energy reserves.

Overworking also makes you more susceptible to stress related illnesses. Work with moderation and don't let your work pressures result in high blood pressure.

Working late into the night, during holidays and over weekends also makes you more prone to social problems due to absenteeism partnering and parenting. Therefore, cease from overworking today before you are seized by physical, mental, emotional and social problems.

Break Bread With Honey

Some studies suggest that consuming honey can alleviate anxiety with often accompanies stress.

Therefore apply a tablespoon of honey to slices of whole grain bread to create a relaxing snack since the bread will increase levels of serotonin in your body and impart a feeling of emotional well being.

You can also add a tablespoon of honey to a cup of chamomile herbal tea to create a sleep-inducing drink if you are suffering from stress-related insomnia.
How to relax your mind and body

Count Your Blessings

An attitude of gratitude is very important in Christian stress management since it reminds you of the great things that God has done for you in the past and this serves as proof that He is still able to do other great things for you in your present and future including resolving your stressful situation because He is still the same great God.

Therefore, make it a habit to count your blessings instead of counting your hassles.

Each day, write down three things that you are grateful for so that when the going gets tough, you can read your gratitude lists for encouragement.

Go the extra step and emulate David who carried God’s wonderful works etched in his heart. This helped him when he faced Goliath because he was able to remind himself that The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine (1 Samuel 17:37) and this confidence in God’s power enabled him to fight fearlessly.

Dance

Dancing is a great activity to engage in when you are stressed because it is a form of aerobic exercise. It, therefore, helps your body to burn stress hormones and this effect reduces your chances of developing a stress-related illness.

Dancing also elevates endorphin levels which make you feel better.

Therefore put on your favorite music and dance to your heart’s delight whenever stress tries to weigh you down.
Christian relaxation techniques

Escape For A While

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, Jesus went out to a solitary place and prayed. (Mark 1:35)

Understand that you need to escape everyday to a solitary place where you can pray. Try and escape for an hour in the morning or when you are least likely to be disturbed. As you do so, escape preferably to a place that is physically away from your stressors. This solitary place can be your bedroom, your office, or a church.

If you are not able to physically escape to a solitary place, you can mentally escape to a solitary space in your mind. To do this, tune out the world and tune into God as you pray. You can do this when walking to the bus stop, driving home or even in the middle of a disagreement.

Flavor with Basil

Basil has been used for centuries because of its healing benefits which include anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.

Studies have added to its long line of health benefits by suggesting that it can help with stress management since it contains a chemical known as linalool.

Therefore flavor your meat and vegetable dishes with this healing herb and you will reduce the hazardous effects of stress on your body.
Medical relaxation tips

Get A Massage

To massage simply means to apply pressure and motion to the soft tissues of the body. This reduces tension in the muscles and thus helps you relax.

Schedule time to thus give yourself a scalp, face, neck or foot massage whenever you want to de-stress and relax. Enhance your experience by playing soothing music and using relaxing perfumed body oils and ointments since Ointments and perfumes delight the heart. (Proverbs 27:3)

If you are giving yourself a massage, avoid massaging over areas with skin diseases, swellings, recent scars, varicose veins and also over your abdomen during pregnancy.
When in doubt, consult a professional massage therapist and let them iron out the kinks in your muscles.

Hide Clutter

Clutter causes “visual noise” which contributes to making a person feel stressed.
Therefore, clear the clutter in your home and workspace by discarding or giving away the items that are not useful and that you do not love.

Arrange the items that you use and those of sentimental value neatly. Finally, store those that fall in between these categories away from your view.

Imbibe Green Tea

Studies have shown green tea and black tea contain a compound known as L-Theanine which reduces your body’s psychological and physiological responses to stress.

These herbal teas also contain antioxidants which are useful for maintaining health.
Therefore sip a cup of these theanine-filled teas to tame stress levels in your body every evening.
Nutritional relaxation tips

Jog

Jogging is a great relaxation technique since it is a form of aerobic exercise. It thus keeps your body healthy during stressful times since it burns stress hormones and reduces your likelihood of developing stress-related illnesses.

Jogging also elevates levels of the “feel good” hormones known as endorphins which make you feel better.

Therefore schedule time to jog for around 30 minutes thrice a week and you will be definitely running away from the hazardous effects of stress.

Keep The Sabbath

Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. For six days you shall labor and do all your work but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall not work. … because in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and He rested the seventh day. (Exodus 20: 8-11)

Heed the Lord’s command and keep your Sundays sacred, a day dedicated to God.
Slow down on Sundays. Go to church in the morning and engage in restful activities in the afternoon to recover from the detrimental effects of the past week's stress.

Take a breather from your regular life and its obligations. Don't run around trying to complete office work or housework. If you must work on Sundays, then dedicate another day to the Lord so that He may renew your spirit.

Lace with Lavender

Lavender contains a compound known as linalool which has been shown to reduce some of the effects of stress on the body.

This lovely herb has also been used for eons because of its soothing scent as well as other health benefits.

Therefore lace your sweet dishes with lavender to minimize the effects of stress on your body and ensure that you inhale its soothing scent as you do so.
Relaxation ideas

Meditate On The Word

Meditation is a very effective relaxation technique because by focusing your mind on one thought, your heart slows down, tension dissipates and your body is able to relax.

Therefore, meditate on the Word of God daily to reduce stress. You can do it the morning to get in the right frame of mind or in the evening you can Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. (Psalm 4:4)

For optimum results, find a scripture that speaks to your stressful situation and then give it your complete attention. For example, if something is terrifying you, meditate on He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him.  (Proverbs 30:5)

Contemplate it, ruminate it and believe it. If your mind wanders to your fears, reflect on the Scripture again until your attention shifts to His protection and your fears are slain.

Nab A Nap

When you begin struggling with drowsiness, exhaustion, reduced concentration, diminished effectiveness or increasing errors of judgment in the middle of your work day, grab a power nap and you will wake up energized and refreshed.

Power naps, which should not exceed 15 minutes, are best taken early in the afternoon just after lunch rather than late in the evenings before supper.

Therefore take a few moments to snooze when your schedule is stressful and you will find that a catnap can be very calming after a chaotic morning and forty winks very rejuvenating when you have a demanding afternoon waiting for you.

Omit White Flour

Consuming foods with white flour causes rapid surges in blood sugar levels which are followed by rapid drops. These changes are associated with the release of the stress hormone known as cortisol.

Therefore, omit white flour from your diet by steering clear from foods like white bread, cakes, and cookies. Replace them with foods prepared from whole grains like brown bread.

To learn all the 150 relaxation techniques read Rules of Relaxation.
Ideas for relaxation

This blog post has been shared at some of these Christian Link Up Parties.

   


Rules of relaxation - relaxation techniques book
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