How to Resolve Conflicts Part 3

From the conflict in John 8:2-11 in which the Pharisees and scribes brought a woman caught committing adultery to Jesus, we can learn from Him how to deal with the complexities that may be inherent in a conflict so as to reduce the time spent resolving conflicts.

The first complexity was being a Mediating Conflictor and the second one was resolving a conflict with tight-lipped conflictor. These have been discussed in Part 1 of this series. 

The third complexity was the uneven balance of power while the fourth was the poor positioning of the parties. These have been discussed in Part 2 of this series.

The fifth complexity in this conflict was the inappropriate place. The Pharisees and scribes dragged the woman arrested in adultery to the Temple. This was a public place and people had already gathered to listen to Jesus’ teaching. It, therefore, lacked the privacy to solve any conflict let alone a personal one.

Therefore when choosing a venue to resolve or mediate your conflicts, choose a private place and preferably one not owned by any of the conflicting parties for the Temple was also the Pharisee's turf. If you are unable to influence the choice of venue, make the best use of where you are just like Jesus.

The sixth complexity in this conflict was the inopportune timing. Jesus was already teaching when the Pharisees suddenly appeared with the woman. It does not seem that they had notified Him in advance that they would bring a conflict for Him to resolve at that particular time.

Therefore if you find yourself suddenly entangled in a serious conflict, take time off from your tight schedule and resolve it at once. Jesus stopped teaching and begun resolving the conflict even though it may have inconvenienced His day’s teaching program.

So focus your attention on the grave conflict at hand and take as much time as you need to ensure a satisfactory conclusion. Do not dash through it even if it is another party which has the most at stake for in His case, it was the woman who was facing the grave and not Jesus.


Conflcit Resolution part 1

Conflict Resolution part 2

Conflict Resolution part 3

Conflict Resolution part 4

How to Manage a Stressful Past

The best way to manage a stressful past is to forgive the people who hurt you and release them from your mind because this will cut the cords of bitterness that had been binding them to your heart and reduce the tension in your life.

Therefore forgive those who hurt you and leave them in the past where they belong. Don't let them mar your present by carrying them into your future in your mind or heart. Let go also of the sources of disappointments and betrayals from way back so that you can relax in the present by Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. (Philippians 3:13)

To help you do this read The enemy releasing prayer and affirmation

Finally, forgive yourself for the role you played in the stressful past and ask God to also forgive you.

How to Manage "Unusual" Stressful Situations

At some point in your life you may find that “unusual” challenges are attacking your health, family, ministry, finances or some other aspect of your life.

You may find that as much as you try to solve those problems, your efforts remain essentially fruitless because you move 1 step forward only to be pushed back 2 steps by your circumstances.

After you repeatedly fail to solve your problems and continue struggling in the stressful situation, you may finally realize that there is more to your problem than meets the physical eyes. 

You may eventually discern that even though your problems are caused by people, there are wicked spiritual forces behind them.

Once you accept that you are engaged in spiritual warfare, understand that to win it, you need spiritual weapons for the Bible tells us that The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

These mighty weapons are truth, righteousness, the Gospel of peace, faith, salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. 

They make up the armor of God and you need to wield them everyday if you want to win your battles with the devil and manage your "unusual stressful situations".

Click here to learn How to Put On the Armor of God

Encouragement Devotional :Refuse to Accept an Unacceptable Situation

This encouragement devotional - Refuse to Accept an Unacceptable Situation - is part of our Free Daily Devotions series.

Blind Bartimaeus sat by the roadside begging. When he heard that Jesus was passing by, he began to cry out for help saying, "Jesus, son of David have mercy on me!" 

However, many people warned him to be quiet. But, Bartimaeus cried out all the more until Jesus heard him and healed him. (Mark 10:46-52) 

Therefore learn from Bartimaeus and refuse to accept an unacceptable situation because he refused to remain a blind beggar when he learned that Jesus was in his vicinity.

Emulate Bartimaeus and ignore the people who want you to accept a terrible situation when you know that Jesus can change it the way he ignored the people who were telling him to keep quiet and stop calling on Jesus so that he could remain a blind beggar. 

Even if you can't see a way out of your predicament (like blind Bartimaes) or your problems have conspired to shut you up, decide to refuse to accept the untenable situation. Cry out to Jesus as you Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) until your situation changes for the better.

Even if doctors cannot help you (as they could not help blind Bartimaeus) or the financial institutions can't help you (as they couldn't help begging Bartimaeus), do not give up on yourself and on your stressful situation. Çry out to Jesus all the more for He came that we may have life and have it to the full.

So, if your stressful situation is squeezing the abundance out of your life, reject it Come boldly to the throne of grace so that you may obtain mercy and find grace to help you the time of need. (Adapted Hebrews 4:15-16)

Click here to read Refuse To Be A Victim Joseph

Click here to read Refuse To Be A Victim Tamar

Click here to read Refuse To Be A Victim Woman with Issue of Blood

Encouragement Devotional: Show Up and Shine

This encouragement devotional - Show up and Shine - is part of our Free Daily Devotionals series.

There is a street light on the street which I live in which is still shining yet it is leaning at an angle of 30 degrees to the ground. 

This street light is shining though it is about to fall and it has taught me the following life lessons:

1. Persist in Fulfilling Your Life Purpose

This street light is persisting in fulfilling its purpose which is to shine and light our street because it is still lighting our paths even though rust is consuming it on one side and gravity weighing it down on the other side.

Therefore persist in fulfilling your life's purpose regardless of the problems trying to consume you or the burdens weighing you down.

To be able to continue working on your God's given assignment even if you are surrounded by problems, you have to decide to believe that All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purposes. (Romans 8:28) 

2. You must show up and shine

Our street light is still shining as brightly as it can from its unfortunate position even though its wires may be stretched to their maximum tension. 

Therefore do your best regardless of your situation and do not use your uncomfortable circumstances as an excuse for doing a mediocre job for God. 

Do not also put your life on hold because of the problems you are dealing with. Decide to show up every single day and shine as brightly as you can regardless of the problems and people who are trying to bring you down.

Let your light shine before people so that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:14-16) even if doubts and fears gnawing at you.

3. Your problems may "enhance" you

The problems that our street light is dealing with have enhanced its effects on the street because now that it lights our street from a different angle, the street and shadows look ethereally different. 

Therefore, do not stop fulfilling your life's purpose because of your problems. Work through the challenges because you cannot tell how they enhance your giftings for instance, by making you more creative.

In addition, I had also never noticed this street light before it begun to have these problems with rust and gravity. Its problems have made it "different" and this difference is what has made me notice it and write this blog post to encourage you.

So continue fulfilling your purpose even when times are tough for the rough times may refine you just as coal is refined into a diamond by heat and pressure.

4. God can still use you

The company that manages our street lights has not switched it off and it is still using it to light our street.

Therefore understand that even when you are facing problems God can still use you for We are all God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10) 

So do not switch yourself off and stop serving God because of the problems you are dealing with.