Christian Marriage Counselling Principles

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The Bible teaches us valuable principles about how we should conduct our marital relationships because it is God's manual for both men and women and consequently for their relationships.

The following are the top Biblical principles for counselling Christian marriages:

1. Pray for your spouse 
From the book of Genesis we can see that Isaac pleaded with God on behalf of his wife Rebekah because she was barren and God granted her a child. (Genesis 25:21)

Therefore, pray for your wife/husband.

2. Let God intervene 
From the book of Matthew we can see that when Mary encountered her relationship problem with Joseph and as he was thinking of ending their relationship, God sent an angel to Joseph who advised him to marry Mary. (Matthew 1:18-21) 

We can also see from the book of Genesis that Sarah encountered several problems when she decided to use her own interventions and gave her female servant Hagar to her husband Abraham so that Hagar could bear children for her since she was barren. (Genesis 16:1-6)

Therefore, regardless of whether you are barren or are about to be divorced or dumped, pray and then let God intervene. Trust Him to do what you are not able to do by yourself.

3. Know when to act 
From the first book of Samuel we can see that when Abigail learned that something terrible was going to happen to her household because her husband Nabal had offended David, she set out immediately to resolve the conflict with David.

We can also see that her quick action was the right thing to do for as she was riding her donkey, she met David and his 400 armed men coming to destroy all the men in her household. (1 Samuel 25:18-22)

Therefore, pray for discernment so that God’s Holy Spirit can guide you as to when to move quickly and when to wait.

4. Know when to speak 
From the first book of Samuel we can see that when Abigail returned home after resolving a major conflict on behalf her family in which all the men in her household were going to be killed because of her husband Nabal, she found him partying and very drunk and she did not tell him anything until the next morning when he was sober. (1 Samuel 25:36-37)

This was the wise thing to do because if Nabal’s sober words has incensed David so much that he was ready to destroy all the men in his household, there was no telling what he would have said or done in his drunken state to flame the ire that his wife had just quenched.

Therefore, know your spouse and pray for discernment about when to broach certain issues for the best outcome for the family.

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