How to speak the language of love is basically a brief synopsis of the book The 5 Love Languages written by Dr. Gary Chapman.
I have to admit that I have not read the book though I did watch an interview in which he was discussing it.
The book says that there are 5 languages of love which are:
1. Quality time e.g. going on weekend getaways, having staycations to give them your focused attention
2. Acts of service e.g. cooking their favorite meals, doing household chores
3. Words of affirmation e.g. praising them, sending them thank you cards
4. Receiving gifts e.g. buying them flowers, chocolates
5. Physical touch e.g. holding their hands in public, giving them massages
Therefore, find out whether your spouse feels most loved when you speak language of love number 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 to them.
This is important because a person who feels most loved (treasured, cared for, appreciated and understood) when their spouse takes out the trash without being asked twice, will never feel truly loved no matter how many bouquets of red roses they are given.
Click here to take the The 5 Love Languages Quiz with your spouse so that you can learn how to speak the language of love to each other
If your spouse cannot take the quiz with you, dedicate a week to speaking to them in each of the 5 languages and see which gets the best response.
For example, you can:
Dedicate week 1 to spending quality time with them.
Dedicate week 2 to serving them with love
Dedicate week 3 to speaking words of affirmation to them
Dedicate week 4 to sending them gifts
Dedicate week 5 touching them physically